Well I guess it seems that my last post pegged me pretty well. Still a pretty terrible blogger, but I am going to make a active effort to do better.

That said, since last June lots has happened. I have moved in with a wonderfully gracious family who has been a tremendous blessing. The reason I have moved in with them is because in August I was offered the opportunity to become Ozone Ministries Springdale Director position. It is a follow-up ministry program to Camp War Eagle that is a Christian Summer Camp. Honestly it's hard to describe or explain the blessing & providence of the Lord that I have witnessed through this opportunity. Sometimes in the moment I can't see what He is doing, but when I look back I am overwhelmed by His hand of goodness over every part of the journey. I don't deserve it but by His love, grace and mercy He allows me to be His ambassador in these kids lives, and that's what I am going to do.

So now as I am about 6 months into this new season, and it's been a crazy experience of challenge, learning, growth, expectations fulfilled, expectations let down, barriers encountered, and heart revealed. I am so thankful for all of it. The Lord continues to reveal my shortcomings and weaknesses, all the while reminding me that no matter what it is, my seemingly obvious strengths or my apparent weaknesses, without Him it's in vain.

As Jesus says in John 15:4-5

Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing."

In His gifts that are my strengths, He humbles me. In my weaknesses, He is enough.

The funny thing is, regardless of which it is, He has made my heart His home and I want nothing without Him, which is the greatest blessing & gift of all.

In Him I find purpose. In Him I find hope. In Him I find full satisfaction.

My prayer for you is that you will realize the truth that He is worth your entire heart...every room. Once we get that (and everyday I still have to fight the battle), we truly will find what we were created & purposed for...FULL ABUNDANT LIFE BY, THROUGH & FOR HIM.

It sorta seems like I am pretty much the worst blogger ever.
Since the last post, a lot & not much has been going on all at the same time.

I have recently finished my official internship at Fellowship Bible Church and am now seeking/pursuing what the Lord would have me do in this next season of life. Most of my efforts and moving forward plans have much to do with paying off my student loans so that I can be debt free. This is going to be no small task but I am finding peace in recognizing God's provision in every area of my life. He has so graciously blessed me with free housing through a family at my church for the time being as I work at the restaurant and search for other opportunities. It's hard sometimes because it's easy for me to buy into the lie..."why are you still working at a restaurant when you have a college degree?" and being defined by what I do or don't do instead of my position in Christ, but I think that is precisely why He is doing it. The lesson that circumstances don't dictate the character or nature of God rather God dictates the circumstances for His glory and my good.

So I have yet to figure out what is next but I am finding peace in Christ as He becomes my lifeline and that to whom I cling.
I'm pretty moblie, here & there a lot, sleeping in different places, sometimes packing my car for the day/week but I have been realizing that none of it goes unseen or unplanned by the God who reigns over me with mercy & grace. I may never have a time like this again in my life so I am seeking to embrace it, while embracing Him, as best I can.

One thing I ask of the Lord,
this is what I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of Lord all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek Him in His temple.
**Psalm 27:4**

My prayer as I pursue Him in the pursuit of what comes "next". Regardless of situation, job or where I live, this purpose is the foundation of all of it.

May you find comfort in knowing He uses all things to reveal His love & pursue your heart deeply.

Throughout this year we have been taking classes at Fellowship and the last one was called "Survey of Theology". Pretty much we covered major topics of the Christian faith and took short looks at each of them. At the end of the class, we had to write a paper about a theological topic or issue we wanted to research deeply and draw conclusions about what it means for us. Below is the paper I wrote. Mostly it sums up a lot of what is going on in my life right now as my internship year comes to an end and I begin moving forward. I have never before faced this season of my life, and I know it's not the last time, but I love the fact that I can rest assured in the God who walks not only beside me, but in front of me.

Survey of Theology- Theological Project

Knowing the God who is before

As this class ends, I find myself on the end of the residency program this year. Two days away from everything I have come to know is coming to a close and changing. Up until this point in my life, I have always had a plan, knowledge of the “next step” or at minimal a “to-do” list for the day. I like order, organization and initiating so I can guarantee things to happen. Some people find change, new or uncertainty exciting, thrilling and fun; however, I happen to not be one of those people. So with the reality of no plan in front of me, I must choose how to believe, respond and live. Throughout this year, whether in study, church, circumstance, or conversations, I have been taught that God is before all things.[1] Now, I realize I must stand and claim this truth amidst every circumstance, question of the future, decision, etc. That’s why I am choosing to understand and research the theological issue of God being before me.

In order to do this, I first have to understand, at least in some capacity the character and nature of God. One incommunicable attribute of God is His unchangeableness. Wayne Grudem describes this characteristic as, “God being unchanging in his being, perfections, purposes, and promises, yet does act and feel emotions, and he acts and feels differently in response to different situations.”[2] Multiple times in scripture God is described as being unchanging, the same, in His being, purposes, and promises.[3] Believing this truth of God brings great comfort in times of uncertainty when it is paired with the truth of scripture, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”[4] God is unchanging in His purposes, which include His purposes for me. Which leads me to believe and see that God is before me, using everything to accomplish His purposes of His glory and my good. The importance of this truth allows me to trust God despite circumstances, change or anything else. My faith and hope and knowledge of God depend on His infinite worth of my trust, and because He never changes, then I know that before each step I take, decision I make, or future situation, God already goes there.

Another attribute of God, which is communicable, that helps in the understanding of God being before me is His knowledge, or omniscience. This can be described as God fully knowing Himself and all things actual and possible in one simple and eternal act.[5] Going further, this would be that God has known all things that would happen and all things that He would do forever. Nothing was before God, He created, He was, no beginning; so He has always been before, always been all knowing and always will be.[6] He initiated creation, He initiated redemption and He continues to initiate as I walk with Him through life. [7] Because He knew, He initiated so I was able to then respond. Responding in faith to the gospel, responding in obedience to the Spirit and continuing to respond as He leads me in His purposes and plans. Although they are not always clear in my human perspective, my faith stands on His knowledge and not my own.[8] He is before me, His knowledge (in full) before mine, and so I walk in faith trusting in His knowledge and purposes that He reveals in scripture.

As I study and see these characteristics of God, I also see in scripture many examples of God claiming to go before His people or a declaration of that truth.[9] These examples show us the nature of God’s character and the promises to all who believe. It’s His character and His promises that I am able to take courage in as I pursue Him for the future. Even if I have no tangible plan at this point in time, I believe and hold fast to the truth of His character that He is already going there, preparing a way and will be a light to my feet.[10]

Alongside of the promise, there comes a command. In Psalm 16:8 David states, “I have set the LORD always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.” David chooses to set the Lord before Him. David gives God the rightful spot that He is due; puts Him where He already claims to be. Jesus also commands something similar in Matthew 6:33, “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else…” Before everything, He says, seek God and His Kingdom. As a Christian, I am called to not only rely on the character and promises of God but to seek the Lord, who is before me, and set Him to have Lordship over every part of my life.

Interesting that as we look at Colossians 1:17, “He is before all things,” if we go one verse back, Colossians 1:16 states, “all things were created through him and for him.” This puts into perspective why anything and everything happens in existence, including that in my life. With a plan, without a plan, moving forward or waiting, wherever I find myself, it is for Christ. All of it exists for Christ and to make His glories known.[11] His glory is the purpose of all things, and so now as I find myself in a position of uncertainty, I recognize it is for the glory of Christ. His character, attributes, promises and commands all are a part of His glory, which I am able to take part in as I seek Him, where He is, before all things.

---

[1] Colossians 1:17

[2] Bible Doctrine: Essential Teachings to the Christian Faith. Wayne Grudem. Page 73

[3] Psalm 102:27, Hebrews 13:8, Malachi 3:6

[4] Romans 8:28

[5] see note 2, Page 88

[6] Genesis 1:1, John 1:1-3

[7] John 6:44

[8] Isaiah 55:9

[9] Deuteronomy 1:30, Psalm 59:10, Isaiah 52:12

[10] Psalm 119: 105

[11] John Piper Sermon: All things were created through him and for him.

Blessings!!!

I pray you know the God who is before you.

Got back from our spring break mission trip to Memphis on Friday. Such an amazing week, and plan to update more about what I learned, think, am excited about & all that happened soon.

However, I did want to share my team's recent GLEE performance with everyone. It was mostly for a "fun" element with really no purpose other than getting kids excited & enjoying ourselves putting it together. See the link below, and ENJOY!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJ5G9LHC2oQ

PRAISE BE TO THE GOD WHO ALL GOOD THINGS COME.

My best friend is getting married!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A lot of my life is changing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

& im pretty terrified.

but i take courage in the Lord...I cast my cares upon Him, knowing He is faithful & will do it. Whatever IT may be.

Ash came & she went. It was such a blessing to have a piece of "home" enter into my new life for a few days. It's so weird that one of the people who was my everyday normal has now become an event of the month because it's so rare that I get to see her.

Friendship is funny. Looking back over the years we have known each other & having been through so much, it's so wonderful to continue to share a friendship that is not separated by distance. Even as I write this & think on it, it's amazing to me that God calls us His friends when we are in Christ. I appreciate so much the truth that my friends, both near & far, new & longtime, were made to reflect the relationship that is offered to us by Jesus. Just small glimpses of His glory & yet friendships create such a joy and peace that is unexplainable.
Having her here, immersing her in my new norm, gave me such a comfort and blessed feeling that can only be a gift from God.

Thanks Ash for being in my life, being my friend through the years & supporting me in this new season of my life. It points me straight to the arms of our Savior and that is the greatest blessing of all. You are loved, appreciated and valued beyond measure :)

I hope everyone has friends such as mine, because they are truly the greatest!

**1 John 4:7**
Dear friends, let us love one another, for love COMES FROM GOD. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.

http://www.mosaicstudentsnwa.blogspot.com/

This is our Student Ministry blog that I have never posted. I recently was in charge of the newest blog post "How do I as a Christian overcome sexual temptation?"...interesting.

But besides that, it's also just another way to see what is going on in my life & ministry as we seek as a team to invest in students and families for the eternal. We desire to make Him great...& I hope anything that you check into challenges, encourages & enlightens your heart into deeper understanding of the God who created & loves you.

Blessings in this Valentines season :)

So I just threw myself a dance party in my room for the first time in years. Sounds weird and awkward that I would admit to that out loud let alone on my blog, but it gave me some perspective that I thought to share.

As I was dancing, I felt so free, unable to stop smiling (probably at how ridiculous I looked) but really not caring about anything. Just freeing my mind, body & spirit to feel the freedom that is offered to me in everyday. Our lives should be no different than this dance party because of the gift that Christ offers to us in the cross. He died to bring us freedom, to show us the Truth; the promise that if we claim it, believe it, we can know true unhindered freedom. It's such a wonderful gift, an unspeakable blessing of love that surpasses knowledge. In Christ, WE ARE FREE. Free from worry, bondage of sin, expectations of others, finding our worth in something other than who He claims us to be. I am so thankful for this gift of freedom, I just wish I was constantly aware & meditating on it so I could have dance parties in my heart all of the time. Life is suppose to be fun, a fun adventure of meeting, knowing, seeking, loving and worshipping God.

So my challenge: Have a dance party and realize that God has come to set you free so that your life could reflect His promises to the world. And recognize that it brings Him to joy that your heart would dance in His presence.

Psalm 30:11-12
You turned my wailing into dancing;
you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy
that my heart would sing to you and not be silent,
O LORD my God, I will give you thanks forever.

This past weekend I was able to be a part of something great. It was called Help Portrait. It started with one guy & became an international movement of photographers coming together, giving up a day & taking pictures for families who otherwise could not afford them. I literally went to bed that night exhausted from the amount of blessing & just pure joy that I was able to experience through just talking, serving and loving people. Although I was not a photographer, they asked for volunteers to assist with all other kind of needs...so I helped with make up :)

I attached some links below so you can check out what it was all about & some stories that made the news. I hope you are blessed through just hearing about it!

http://www.help-portrait.com/

http://www.ireport.com/docs/DOC-368249

http://www.4029tv.com/news/21952248/detail.html

My wisdom to bestow on you is this...serve & love people all of the time, not just events or opportunities that bring forth the need for it. People are always in need of service & love; & honestly you will become the one more changed. God will use others to change you & ultimately it shows you more about who He is.

Blessings during this season! May your eyes & heart be fixed on that which truly matters.

Just wanted to say that I am thankful for things that are not listed. It seems like everyday the Lord gives me a new reason and way to express gratitude.

Also challenged with another thought as the Christmas season is upon us. Often this time of year creates a lot of different things...possibly stress, fear, excitement, joy. Whether there are a lot of bills, gifts to buy and figuring out how to pay for it all, or family time that is good, wholesome and refreshing, we will all be challenged through this season. Amidst it though, we must rememeber in light of all things, there is Jesus. We celebrate, although sometimes loss sight of the true reason, that Jesus came to earth as a human to live as a human never sinning so that He could fulfill His purpose by dying for our sins to bring us eternal life.
Did you see that...Jesus' purpose when He came into the world was to die. He was born to die. And sometimes we think we are doing is hard, seemingly meaningless or unimportant. But God even used death, to create for us a picture of hope and to bring us salvation.
So as you celebrate this season, as you are faced with new challenges that the season brings, remember Jesus. In light of everything, there is Jesus.
For Christians, Christmas is a time of celebration because of what Jesus did, but really it shouldn't be different than any other day in our lives because in everyday, in everything we remember & seek Jesus.
Jesus is not only the reason for the season, He is just the reason.

Be encouraged to know that no matter what season of life you are in, fun & exciting or challenging & painful, Jesus promises to beside you & never leave you...you just have to be willing to recognize His everpresent, faithful presence.
You are loved.

Time goes by so fast...Psalm 39:5 "Each man's life is but a breath..." Also in 2 Peter 3:8 "With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day."

I can't believe Halloween was the last time I posted. Seems like there is so much to say, so I am just going to say something that I hope will continue to change my thinking. I was recently told that there are only 2 expectations I should have in ALL situations; EVERYTHING that I am a part of, every decision I make, every situation and circumstance in my life, all my relationships, the small seemingly mundane & the huge life altering all have two things in common.

1. It is for my SANCTIFICATION.

2. It is for His GLORIFICATION.

Seriously, remembering and being accountable to this is all things would leave no room for disappointment. Because whether easy or hard, fun or hard, happy or sad, "good" or bad, it's all plays a purpose in these goals and plans of God. I want to be a woman that constantly and consistently thinks, meditates and allows this to be true of my life; it already is true, I just have to be willing to embrace it.

So in light of that, recently I was challenged (in light of Thanksgiving and this season of Christ coming to earth for our salvation) to make a "thankful" list. Gratitude and thanksgiving will pour out of a life that is surrendered and filled with the Spirit of God and since I believe to have Him living in me, I want to have an attitude that is evidence.

In light of this breath that I am living right now, awaiting the face to face meeting with my Savior, I am thankful for...(in no specific order)

1. His grace with my attitude bites

2. His grace when my actions and words don't point to Him

3. That I only need a little faith to make me grow

4. That He always provides, even when I doubt He will

5. My family

6. My jobs

7. My ministry

8. The fruit He produces in my life

9. The Newmans

10. Rach & the constant testimony she is to me of God's faithfulness & goodness

11. That His plans don't fail

12. That He controls the future

13. That I have eternity to look forward to

14. My great friends who remain consistent even in time & distance (Ash, Ash, D, Sarah, Meg, Matt, and too many others to list)

15. hope!

16. joy

17. passion

18. That my life isn't about me

19. And even when I try to make it that way, He forgives

20. The cross

21. Will Berti

22. MSU and how it was used in my life

23. The Woods

24. My sister in crime, Carrie

25. Bonnie and her excitement to live a life for His Name

26. All my limbs & parts that work

27. That He sanctifies

28. Chad & the challenges that he creates for me

29. That He listens

30. encouragement

31. fruit in the lives of others that shouts to the power of God

32. Warm drinks when it's cold

33. Pomegranate body spray

34. Purity

35. Music that moves my soul

36. My salvation & new life

37. Dad's new job

38. That faith is not a feeling

39. My 7th graders

40. My awesome ministry team

41. Riverview

42. Communication through so many avenues

43. Romantic movies

44. But that Christ defines what real love is

45. That God chose me

46. That I can be confident in Him

47. Pictures to remember memories

48. Creation that points out the beauty of it's Creator

49. Fun events

50. Jesus.

He is enough and I am thankful for all that He is faithful to pour over my life. It is my prayer that as I recognize these things daily that I would be made new in how He calls me to live and would be a testimony to the world around me. I pray the same for you; that you would recognize the blessing rather that the "glass half empty" and allow all things to be used for your sanctification and His glorification...there are no other reasons.

We only get one breath so do it right; do it for Him...He deserves it all anyways.

Grace & peace!!

It's been awhile.

So much happens so fast...but things are going wonderful. It's crazy how much you can be shown in only a couple of months. Experiences, situations, relationships, problems, and all the things in between that I never thought I would encounter are constantly becoming my life & God is using it to stretch my thinking & attitude. It is such an amazing peace & comfort also always be reminded of God's provision over all of it. Amidst my lazy, apathetic moments at times, I am loving seeking Jesus. The greatest joy of seeing Him within all of the things that make me smile and all the things that make me cry. There is so much freedom in living in obedience. I mess up constantly, I choose the good instead of the best often, and I waste time often; but it's often those things that bring me to my knees in awe of God's grace & mercy. He loves me where I am and yet won't leave me where I am because He wants me to be more like Christ, reflecting His truth & love to those around me.

It's exciting...feeling so grateful to be apart of the Story He is writing and learning more & more about the author everyday.

Just tonight we celebrated Halloween by having a Street Festival at the church for all the little kiddos...our team dressed up as those from "Alice & Wonderland". There is also my cell girls...7th graders whose small group I am leading. I posted some pics :)

Blessings as you live and ponder the realities and truth of life...that you would constantly be reminded that Real Love is the purpose and it is Christ we have to worship & be thankful for :)

Sermon that I listened to today and really loved. So cut & dry but so challenging to live out in each moment. I desire to be a sacrificial follower.
This is the life Jesus has called us to:
Essential marks of a sacrificial follower...no being super spiritual or steps to a better you. It's maturity & growth in Christ. Some Christians don't act their age.

#1. Love for the Bible...because it tells us more about Jesus :) The final authority in all things.
#2. Prayerfulness...choosing prayer over worry.
#3. Being aggressively teachable.
#4. Appropriately transparent
#5. Promotes community
#6. A lifestyle of worship...not just singing, involves EVERYTHING.
#7. Financial generosity...10% of the bible is about money. It shows us our priorities. How we give will show how we feel about God.
#8. Being a witness...loving God & LOVING OTHERS. It's not about you. Lively outwardly.

I love Riverview. Such a real church that proclaims the real truth.

I hope all of you are seeking to be a part of a place that encourages you and urges you to this kind of living.

Amen?!

Just got home yesterday from a weekend retreat with our junior high students. It was a blast to just get away for the weekend, break the schedule & find time for fellowship and growing with one another.
We played tons of silly games, competitive games, skits, dances, and ate a lot.
But really the thing I am most grateful for is how humbled I was in our times of worship. I couldn't escape realness of the presence of my Lord. He is before all things, in all things and as I would sing songs with my voice & heart, I was able to be filled with joy as I danced before Him. There are no substitutes for how much God wants to be a part of everything in our lives. And as I was reading today I came across Psalm 16:2 "You are my Lord, apart from you I have no good thing." Things are good, can be really good but if they take us away from the true joy, which is found solely in Him, then I think we miss the point.

My heart & life cry out in worship always wanting to find the truest, purest joy, good things, in my Lord Jesus. And today, that will be the mediation and prayer of my heart.

One of my great friends Rach just left after a refreshing, rest filled weekend. It was such a blessing to have her here & be encouraged in all that the Lord is doing in & through her. We did a lot of fun fun things...sushi eating, movie watching, hardcore hiking and just enjoying one another's conversation. She was also able to be here for my first teaching for SNS which was such a blessing.

Here's the link if you desire to listen....

http://www.fellowshipnwa.org/menus/downloads/teaching/SNSM/081509_EW_HolySpirit_Evidence.mp3

More updates soon!
Blessings :)

I haven't blogged about my recent trip home where my sister GOT MARRIED so I just wanted to show you all a little bit of the weekend festivities & celebration! It was so wonderful & I am so happy for them...love you both!













She was such a beautiful bride & it was such a wonderful day to be a part of. I now ask for your prayers for her & Nick because they are going to be apart for their first three months of being newlyweds...pray that they would each find contentment & strength in the Lord where they are in this moment until they are able to live together. "That you would grant each of them a heart that is steadfast as they wait..."

Worked today on my first lesson that I will be teaching on August 15. The topic is "Evidence of the Holy Spirit" in a three part series about the Holy Spirit. As I worked today, I was really challenged by a lot of the questions, that I am going to be asking the students, as I look at my own life.

Do I confess sin at the moment I realize it is there? And does that move me to change my attitude & action in repentance?
Do I serve when it is inconvenient or out of my comfort zone?
Do I give up my own way for the benefit of Christ or others?
Do I "overflow" with love for everyone?
Do I pray with confidence because the desires of my heart are those that give God glory?
Do I use what I have been given to bless others & enhance the Kingdom of God?
Do I look to recognized or grow envious of those who are?
Do I give thanks to a GOOD GOD in all circumstances?
Do I produce the fruit that is evidence of His Spirit?

As I look at this list, I am convicted, challenged & at times discouraged that I let myself get in the way of God's greater good & purpose. Yet, I take courage in knowing that, "And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit." (2 Cor 3:18) it is a journey of allowing Christ to be the center of who I am and even as I tend to lose my footing sometimes, I am never outside of Him who is transforming me everyday. I want to be a woman of truth who loves the Lord with all her heart & soul.

I am excited to share with the students that as we see how the Spirit acts in the world through us that all will see the glory of God...not on our own strength or power but on that which we completely rely on who lives in us.

I pray you are challenged today to ask yourself the same questions.

learning & experiencing so much. I am going to put together some of the things that have really challenged and moved me over this past month...soon to come.

Blessings!!!

We are putting together a skit that we can do throughout the year at events and things. It is coming together really well & sends chills down my spine every time we do...so I know it's going to rock. I plan on posting it once we tape it but I just wanted you all to know how excited I am about it.
I started at Mimi's officially by myself a couple of days ago and it's going pretty well. Still learning the new way to do things there but I am confident that with time I will get it. I am most excited to see how God will use me in the lives of the people that I work with there. If you could be praying for opportunities I would be so grateful. I am hopeful that God will open doors that His glory may shine. Without Him there is no purpose, and I never want anything to be just a job but a place where God has ordained me to be so that I can work for His kingdom & I am thrilled about it!!
Loren's wedding is coming up on July 11th so I will be making a trip home during that time...so hopefully I will see a lot of you then :)
Always in His love.

Just got back to Memphis today. It was an awesome trip with some really wonderful people. I am excited to see all that God will do in these students' lives this summer as well as my own.
We stayed and served at a place called MAM (Memphis Athletic Ministries) which is a gym developed to reach intercity youth for Christ through organized sports. They run camps, programs, sport teams, and just about anything else where kids can come, get off the streets, and be invested into. A wonderful blessing to be able to be there and see all that is happening and be reminded how much my heart beats for that group.
I'm not sure what God has for me after this year but every time I am around kids from the "hood" a passion just burns deeply inside of me that spurs me on...so we will see what happens for here. Right now, though, until He moves me, I am thrilled to be a part of a place and a vision that seeks to enrich kids lives so that they can make a difference in the world in the name of Jesus.

Oh and we are putting together a skit, so when it's all said and done, I'll post it so you can see it :)